Be Careful What You Wish For, Daisy
by Agent0018
Summary: What if Alex didn't hit Daisy with the whip during the circus act? What if he really did want Daisy to go to the abortionist? What then?


**Prologue**

Alex Markov, no, Alexander Markov_ Romanov, _couldn't believe what Daisy Devreaux-Romanov just said.

"_...for the baby were having." _

She was pregnant. Pregnant. Even repeating that word over and over again in his head didn't make a dent in the betrayal he felt. She had no right to do this! It wasn't, was never, her decision to make and he actually fucking believed that she was taking those pills. Instead, now that she was pregnant, he thought for sure that she was chucking it down the toilet. He still could remember their conversation clearly.

_"Alex, I didn't plan this baby; I don't even know how it happened. But I'm not going to lie to you and tell you I'm sorry."_

_His pale lips barely moved. "I trusted you."_

_"I didn't do anything wrong."_

_The muscles in his throat worked, and his hands clenched at his sides. For a moment she thought he  
was going to hit her. "How far along are you?"_

_"About two and a half months."_

_"And how long have you known?"_

_"Maybe a month."_

_"You've known about this for a month, and you just decided to tell me?"_

_"I was afraid."_

_The raucous music of the clowns rose to a crescendo, signaling the end of their act. She and Alex were next. Digger, who was in charge of sending Misha into the arena at the climax, approached to take charge of the horse._

_Alex grabbed her arm and pulled her away from the others. "There's not going to be any baby, do you understand what I'm saying?"_

_"No ... no, I don't understand."_

_''Tomorrow morning, you and I are taking off for the day. And when we come back, there won't be  
any baby."_

_She stared at him in shock. Her stomach heaved, and she pressed her knuckles to her mouth. The  
crowd inside the big top fell silent as Jack Daily began his dramatic introduction of Alexi the Cossack._

_"Aaaand now, Quest Brothers Circus is proud to present..."___

_"You want me to have an abortion?" she whispered._

_"Don't look at me like I'm some kind of monster! Don't you dare look at me like that! I told you from  
the beginning how I felt about this. I spilled my guts trying to make you understand. But, as usual, you decided you knew best. Even though you don't have a trustworthy bone in your goddamn body, you decided you knew best!"_

_"__Don't talk to me like that."_

_"I trusted you!" His mouth twisted into a snarl as the first strains of the balalaika drifted into the night,  
the cue for his entrance. "I actually believed you were taking those pills, but all the time you were lying  
to me."_

_She shook her head and fought against the bile rising in her throat. "I'm not getting rid of this baby."_

_"The hell you're not! You'll do what I tell you."_

_"You don't want this. It's ugly and wicked."_

_"Not as wicked as what you've done."_

_"Alex!" one of the clowns hissed. "You're on!"_

_He snatched the coiled whip from around his shoulder. "I'll never forgive you for this, Daisy. Do you  
hear me? Never." Thrusting himself away from her, he disappeared into the big top._

_She stood there numbly, gripped by despair so thick and bitter she couldn't breathe. Oh, God, she'd  
been such a fool. She'd thought he loved her, but he'd been right all along._

_He didn't know how to love. He'd told her he couldn't do it, but she had refused to believe him. And  
now she was going to pay the price.  
_

All the time Alex was doing his act in front of the crowd in the big top he was seething. Their marriage was almost up, and they will be only married for six months according to Daisy's father, Max Petroff. Alex wanted no repercussions from this _marriage_ because this was just a favour. _Daisy should fucking know that! _He thought angrily.

When Daisy stumbled into the limelight, Alex could see that she was a little dazed, disoriented even, but he didn't take any special reaction to it. They made their act, but the communication between them was lost, the element that made them work so well together. _This is your entire fault, Daisy, I hope you know that._ Alex thought.

When the music changed to signal the end of their routine, Alex dragged Daisy out of the big top and into their trailer. "Change." He snarled at her. Daisy was numb and sluggish, and she looked at Alex with blank eyes. "Fucking change your clothes Daisy! Or do I have to do it for you?" She jumped at the venom of his voice and went to their meagre drawer and took out an old sweatpant of his and a university shirt.

"Use your damn clothes, _wife," _he sneered at the word "do not take more of me than what I have already unwillingly given you!"

Daisy barely flinched, but deep inside, with her husband's lethal voice, her soul withered. She cannot take more of this. This was supposed to be her fairy tale, although it did start unconventionally, she was convinced that Alex did love her in his own way, maybe enough to stay with her. What is it with her that those people who she loves either dies or leaves her broken? Her mother, her father.. No one was left for her. Except this tiny little clump of cells inside her. And now Alex was determined to take it away from her.

Her heart shriveled and dead, she gingerly took out her old dress and a favourite. It was a very simple white dress with cup sleeves and faded red, embroidered roses that seemed to shift from burgundy red to the lightest pink. _Apt, _she thought, that the dress that she would wear for her unborn child's murder is pure but with the faintest hint of blood. She changed and slipped on a pair of slippers. She straightened for a moment and delicately touched her belly. _A child, conceived yet never to be born_. She wept, but only inside. She couldn't afford to let Alex show that he had utterly, completely, wholly destroyed her. Because she knew, that as she will lose the child, she would also lose herself.

After she was dressed, she faced Alex whom had taken refuge in the battered couch that had seen some raunchy action in the past few weeks. Daisy wondered if that was where their – no, it- was made, where he bent her over the arm and took her like an animal in heat. Oh she loved it, the intensity and the naughtiness of the situation but as she thought back to it, there was no eye contact, no lingering caresses that would assure her that the carnality was only in the moment.

Alex took a swig from the bottle of vodka. He was sure that the alcohol content was illegal, or maybe it was just his heart that was burning with pain. He didn't miss the little show Daisy put on. How she gently touched her belly that was holding it. Or that she was wearing an innocent dress laced with blood red roses. _This is all for the best, _he thought. _We cannot have a child, the line would end with me, we only have six months of marriage,_ the reasons went on and on in his head.

When Daisy was in front of him, he stood up, looked down at her from his impressive height, and with the coldest voice he could manage – which was quite a feat because he felt he was burning inside with unnamed and unidentified emotions – he said "Stay here. I'll be back after I help with the big top. After that Daisy, and first thing tomorrow, we are going to get rid of _that._" To Alex's surprise, Daisy only nodded once and told him okay. But she wasn't looking at his eyes.

Dismantling the big top was always hard work and it required all available hands. Alex found himself with too much pent up energy and he was just raring to spend it. He glanced at his trailer and found it dark and silent, not with the usual lights and country music that Daisy loved. He shrugged it off and went to the menagerie. Even after there was no more work to do, he didn't want to return to the trailer and rest. So he looked at Sinjun and at his big, old eyes. _I wonder what this tiger thinks of me_. He brooded.

_It might have been, it could have been._

The thought rushed unbidden through his mind. No, the words, hurtful words, he conceded, were already said and Daisy already knows what they have to do.

After several more minutes of silence, Alex can't take it anymore and walked wearily to their trailer. _When have I thought of it as ours?_ This silence was unnerving and unnatural. Maybe he could tell Daisy, explain to her that it was for their own good, getting rid of their chi – no. _It. _Alex could not, would not, think of it as a person because the moment he did, he knew that he would do anything for him or her, for its mother and for them to finally be a family as long as he draws breath, bloodline be damned.

He drew shaking breaths and it felt like the world was caving in on him. Could he actually kill his own flesh? His and Daisy's child? Could he?

As he was running this thoughts through his head, he turned the knob on the door and leaned inside. "Daisy?" he called out.

She didn't answer.

She was gone.


End file.
